The Twilight of My Life
by LittleLostCullen
Summary: Bella has everything she's asked for, she's a ballerina and the New York City Ballet, she's found her place in the Big Apple, she's happy. She finds love in a writer for an art magazine, Edward Cullen, but will previous heartbreak hold her back?
1. Something missing?

Then

I didn't want to wake up, I wished that I could stay in bed for only a few more minutes. My beat up Sidekick woke me up, vibrating then playing the loudest alarm tone ever, causing my ears to ring. My neck was hurting like hell, I must have fallen asleep while talking to Alice the night before. I finally decided to lift my head off of the pillow, at that point, my eyes were still closed, my feet and ankles still felt tense, reminding me of my painful pointe class from last night. My hair was a mess as usual, my back ached, my thighs burned from dancing, and my ankles screaming when I finally stood up. I walked to the bathroom, took off my sleep clothes, turned on the shower, stood there, my eyes barely open, I let out the biggest yawn ever as I waited for the water to turn searing hot. I stepped in, and I stood under the water for what felt like a good five minutes, not even washing up yet.

I stood there hoping that school year would be better than the last, I knew that Mike probably hated me for what I did to him that summer, my clothes sucked, many of them were the same from the year before, and whatever I bought recently, I felt anything but comfortable in. That year I made a vow to wear other clothes besides tights, leotards, sweats, and t-shirts. I wanted that school year to be different, I wanted to fit in, and I wanted to be happy. That was my beginning of my first day of tenth grade. The beginning of the school year that would forever change how I felt about myself.

Now

I looked out of the window of my small but sufficient apartment. Rosalie is probably still sleeping, and Emmett is probably still here. I walked over to get my coffee cup, putting three packets of Splenda in, and a teaspoon of my french vanilla creamer. I was still single, and had been since my first year of college, and I still think it was because I'm not ready for a relationship, when I should be. I'm always asking myself, why do I need a boyfriend? I have everything I've worked so hard for, an apartment in New York city, and dance career that most women can't even achieve in their wildest dreams, and friends that most people fall out of touch with when they get their diploma.

Sometimes the thought of everything that happened in my sophmore and junior years of high school still haunt me, but I brush them off and remind myself that I will find love someday, no matter how long it's taking. I miss my parents though, I miss our little house in Silver Spring,Maryland I miss the quiet, I miss taking rides out into the country, I miss how big the trees looked in winter and fall, but I kept telling myself I'd never go back there to live, I mean it was only five hours away, so I could always go back to visit.

I let myself out of my trance of thoughts and memories and went to the bathroom to get ready for the day, the sun is just starting to rise over the jungle of buildings. Soon I will have to be at the company and I haven't even showered yet. I tip toed down the hallway to my bedroom, trying my best not to wake up the sleeping couple. I'd kill for Rosalies ability to effortlessly attract any guy she wants. Most guys are interested in but they feel like I'm too focused in my career, or I come off as uninterested, when in reality I was just to scared.

I grabbed a fresh towel and washcloth, and my shower caddy. Sharing an apartment with another woman wasn't so bad, but I couldn't imagine what it would be like if it were four women here. Luckily, I was still in and out of the shower fast enough to put my hair in a perfect bun, put on some makeup and put together a cute outfit. I grabbed my dance bag, my phone, and my keys, and headed downstairs. I didn't feel like trying to catch a taxi so I put in my earphones and ran to the nearest subway station. Taking the subway wasn't too hard for me since that was my main form of transportation back home. This morning seemed to be going so well, I found a seat on the train which was surprisingly not crowded today, and all of my favorite songs happened to be playing on shuffle.

I swiped my metro card, and ran up the stairs and into the city. It was a beautiful spring morning in the big city, the perfect day to take a stroll in central park. In all of the crowded craziness of the city, I could still find serenity, I'm even more sure that this is the perfect place for me. I remember being nineteen years old, when I was finally accepted into the New York City Ballet, I remember being so scared, happy, and anxious when I experienced living here for the first time, but Rosalie and I made up perfect strategies to make our way here.

Rosalie graduated from NYU with a degree in biology, but decided to continue her career in modeling. She towered over everyone back home, and even here she still stood out. She's statuesque, beautiful, with the most unique features. Sometimes I find myself getting jealous whenever we go out, I feel like she gets more attention than be because of her height and undeniable beauty. I'm not nearly as quiet as i used to be, but I still find myself awkward and shy at times. She was my best friend, and the only one brave enough to take on the big city with me. We both needed to get out of Maryland to live our dreams.

I walked up to the huge building, and walked into the lobby. Everyone greeted me with a smile as usual. I was one of the soloists with the New York City Ballet, something that I thought I would never achieve. Everything in my life was perfect now, I don't need love. I walked into the dressing room, put on my leotard and tights, broke in my new pointe shoes, and looked in the mirror. I was beautiful, more beautiful than I ever felt, but my smile turned into a frown, In the perfect dream world I was living in, I felt like something was missing. I shrugged off that feeling, headed to the main studio, found my place and the barre, the music started to play, and everything in the world around my seemed to disappear, it was just me, the music, and the barre, I was at peace if only for about ten minutes of warm up.


	2. Beginnings

I didn't give much of an intro to my last chapter, but here it goes. This fanfic is loosely based off of my life, so most of it's true, and some of it is what I want for myself in the future, or whatever I wished happened differently in the past, and some stuff is just added for drama. This story is something I'm writing just to see where it goes :)

Chapter 2

I stepped out of the shower, smelling my moms cooking. It must have been one of her IHOP style first day of school breakfasts today. She did that for me every year, even if I didn't eat all of it. She still called me her little princess, she still tied the ribbons on all of my pointe shoes, she still pampered me like I was a little girl, even if I would be getting my drivers license next year. I put my hair up in a simple ponytail, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and looked in the mirror at my god awful over bite, I wish had perfect teeth.

One of my dance teachers recommended that I lose weight, when I a was already 5'2 and 110 pounds. I wasn't like the other girls in my ballet classes, I didn't have perfect legs and feet, I didn't have perfect turnout, and I wasn't nearly as pretty as the other dancers, but the principal of the Youth Ballet said that I was a good size, and while I wasn't perfect, I was the most dedicated in the performing company, that always made me smile. The principal's is Jane Volturi, she's danced with the American Ballet Theater, and danced her way around the world at least five times over, she's about forty years old, but she's still as beautiful as she was in the portraits of her at eighteen hanging in the hallways. She's who I've dreamed of being since I was five years old.

Today after school would be the first auditions for the Nutcracker performances in the winter, today was the first day of tenth grade, I had so much to be worried about, which is what was driving me crazy most of the time. I wanted to be perfect, I wanted to have my first boyfriend this year, I wanted to dance at homecoming for the first time, most of all, I wanted to feel beautiful on picture day. Unfortunately, I would be getting braced in two weeks, so there goes my confidence.

"Bella! Your waffles and bacon are ready!" My mom yelled from downstairs. Waffles and bacon, the last thing I needed to maintain my weight.

I walked as slowly as I could to my room. Closing my eyes so I could escape reality for at least thirty seconds.

"BELLA! Your breakfast is ready!" She called again, because I was still in my zen zone, I didn't know whether to answer her or ignore her.

"I'll be down in a second mom!" I called back at her.

I stared at my closet, I still couldn't find anything to wear, so I just put on my uggs, my new gray hoodie, and grabbed my new bookbag.

When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I was bombarded by my dad's daily game of 21 questions.

"Hey Bells, do you need any lunch money? I know it's your first day of tenth grade, and guys may want to talk to you on your way to the bus stop, do you want me to drop you off?" There he goes with his questions.

"I'm fine dad, I'll be fine." I told him trying to sound as calm as possible.

I walked into the kitchen, and stared at the stack of waffles, fruit, bacon, and eggs. I felt bad telling my mom that I only wanted a piece of fruit after all she cooked, so I grabbed a banana, and a cup of yogurt from the fridge and ran for the door. I could hear the faint noise of my parents asking me why I was rushing, but I couldn't bear to turn around. I walked as quickly as I could to the bus stop.

I was about halfway over the hill when I felt my phone vibrating again. It was a text from Alice.

"Hey, are u almost at the bus stop? I guess u fell asleep on me last night, once again. Newayz, im already at school so hurry up!" I didn't even have to read the name on the message, I could tell by the wording exactly who it was.

I called her back only to have her pick up the phone, screaming in my ear about some guy.

Yup, this was the start of a new school year.

Now

I started at the barre, I went into plie, the most basic dance step there is, but with so much to it. You have to have good turnout, not from your feet, but from your hips, your pelvis has to be square, your tailbone under, shoulders back, chin up, and looking forward. All of those things make something so simple, so complicated. At the barre, I felt at peace, I felt that when I was holding on to that wooden rod, with the beautiful piano playing in the background, and my pointe shoes clicking against the floor, I felt so strong, as if I could conquer anything.

My mind started to wander again, back to when I was a teenage girl with terrible feet, bad poster, a bad body, and stick legs. I remember how much I dreamed of performing the Kitri variation from Don Quixote, or the Dying Swan, and how back then those dreams seemed so unobtainable. It's mind boggling to think that now, I've performed all of those pieces several times. It was mind boggling how I could find myself on youtube with thousands of views of me dancing. I've been in photoshoots for Dance Magazine, Pointe Magazine, I've performed on countless stages, but I don't know why I still feel like something's missing.

To think that in two weeks, I will play the role of Giselle, the story of a girl who dies too young, and how her ghost protects her lover from evil. The role that most dancers never reach in their careers. After warming up, I'd have to work on pas de deaux, my variations, technique classes, and more choreography, so I would be at the company for at least ten hours today. This was my daily routine, waking up, dancing, coming home, and going to bed. I had no time for relationships, and I barely had any time for friends.

I had become so focused on my career and on myself, that a relationship was so far fetched for me. The last time I was in a "serious" relationship, I was emotionally scarred forever. I don't know what it's like to have a guy hold me, tell me I'm HIS everything, kiss me no matter who we're around, tell me he loves me, let's me have my own thoughts, and my own dreams. I just hope I find him before I'm 50 with 100 cats.

"Isabella, have you been practicing lately? You seem like you're in a daze all the time! If you want to keep your role it's time for you to buckle down, your life may be a Cinderella story, but it's time for you to get a reality check!" Aro said sharply as he pulled me aside.

Aro Lengani. The most strict, hardcore, and somewhat insane ballet company director on the east coast. He was a brilliant dancer, tall, graceful, strong, and incredibly handsome. He had no problem speaking his mind, ever. I took his criticism lightly, knowing to never take it personally, after all I had to build a thick skin ever since I moved to New York. However, he was right, I needed to focus.

"Sorry Aro, I've been a little stressed lately." I said cooly.

"You will perform in two weeks! I don't have time for you to be stressed." He was starting to get heated as he always did whenever there was a big performance coming up.

I headed down the hall to studio b. Met my partner Sam, who was already warming up.

"Hey Bella!" He said, he was always in a great mood. He was married to a beautiful art dealer named Emily Young. Whenever I see them together, I can see how happy they are they were married at twenty one, and they have the most precious baby boy. Sam is like an older brother to me, he was always willing to listen every time I came to him for advice, he's one of the reasons why I haven't given up on love completely.

"Hey, what's up, how's Emily?" I asked.

"She's great, she just hosted a pretty successful gallery opening last night." He said with a smile.

"And your Jason?" I asked

"He's growing like a weed." He answered with the same smile that comes every time someone mentions his son.

Both of us could her Aro's voice booming from the hallway. We rushed to our places, as the music began to play.

Once again, I lost myself.


End file.
